Are you better than an apprentice?
by scarpath
Summary: you know the show,"are you smarter than a fifth grader?" well this is my warriors version! Rated K-plus just in case.
1. intro DON'T SKIP!

A/N Okay, this is just an intro. But DON'T SKIP IT!

THIS IS THE ONLY DISCLAIMER THAT I AM GOING TO WRITE! NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS IN THE WHOLE SHOW ARE MINE. NONE OF THE SONGS ARE MINE EITHER! I CHANGED THE "I DON'T WANT TO BE A CHICKEN" SONG THOUGH!

This show is like an "are you smarter than a 5th grader" but this is, "are you better than an apprentice?"

Here's the cast:

Firestar as the host

Spottedleaf as co-host

And

Graystripe as the Ryan Seacrest of the show!

If you think I should change these things, review me!

Feel free to send in suggestions!

Review me if you have any ideas for who hould compete review!


	2. ThunderClan

Graystripe introduced,"On with the show! Ashfur is the first today in our ThunderClan show!" he said, wiping lip-gloss off his face.

Firestar jumped in,"and running against him for first pick on the fresh-kill pile for two moons are Jaypaw and Hollypaw!"

Spottedleaf seemed totally confused,"What do I get to say? Firey? Don't you love me like you said last night?" she asked.

Firestar replied immediately,"Of course dear! Why wouldn't I?"

Graystripe tried yet again, to get on with the show,"AHEM on with the show!"

Firestar apparently didn't hear him because he said,"you've got lip-gloss on your collar buddy."

Graystripe blushed, "Firestar!"

Firestar still didn't get the hint,"why is your collar stained with TWO shades of pink? Graystripe! We have GOT to talk!"

Graystripe justed mumbled something abou how Firestar always said these things on the air.

Ashfur suddenly decided it was time to prance onto the stge,"ASFUR IS IN THE BUILDING!" he yowled.

Jaypw and hollypaw walked onto the stage, and took their place behind their buzzers.

Graystripe pleaded with Ashfur,"Ashfur, please, take a seat beside Jaypaw at the last buzzer."

Ashfur nodded stupidly,"prancey, me go to the buzzy wuzzy! Who's my buzzy? Yes you are!" he purred.

Graystripe sighed,"Now for our first question! Who wrote Brahms's lullaby?"

Ashfur rang his buzzer,"I know! Mozart!" he exclaimed loudly.

Jaypaw rang his buzzer and answered correctly,"Brahms." he meowed without a doubt.

Ashfur threw Jaypaw a dirty look.

Jaypw replied, totally calm,"I'm blind, you idiot! I can't see your dirty looks!"

"Next question! What is the firt letter of the alphabet?" Graystripe interrupted.

Hollypaw rang her buzzer,"A" she said, pushing the glasses up her nose.

Graystripe looked at her,"Correct!How did you know? And this is the last question; How many sides on a four-sided shape?"

"4!" Ashfur shouted.

Hollypaw rang her buzzer,"you didn't ring the buzzer dumbo! 4!"

"Correct! Now for the score! Firestar! What is the score?" Graystripe yowled.

Firestar looked up from where he had Spottedleaf on his lap, in the middle of a kiss."Hollypaw wins! With 2 points!" he concluded.

Graystripe took a bucket and threw up in it, then passed it on to Hollypaw who did the same.

Firestar put one finger in the direction of Graystripe while still kissing Spottedleaf. Then he finished the kiss and licked his lips.

Graystripe turned green," Hand me the bucket Hollypaw!" he meowed.

Jaypaw stalked up to the front of the stage,"well that's the end of today's show! Hollypaw gets first pick and I have got to go throw up!" he announced.

I randomly stuck my face in the camera,"if you have any suggestions review! And call 1800-REVIEW to vote!" I yowled.


	3. Idol Part 1

"I'm sorry for any inconvenience but Firestar has gone to the Medicine den to see Spottedleaf, who will be having their kits soon! Today we will have three new judges and we will be hosting a Warrior cat Idol! The judges will be Tigerstar (Simon), Squirrelflight (Paula) and Brambleclaw (Randy)! For our first contestant we will have Leafpool and Crowfeather who will be singing "Oops I did it again" by Britney Spears!" Graystripe yowled.

Crowfeather grabbed the microphona and started to sing,

"Oops!.. I Did It Again!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"

Leafpool was just as enthusiastic and sang back,

"I think I did it again

I made you believe we're more than just friends

Oh baby"

Crowfeather looked into Leafpool's eyes and yowled,

"It might seem like a crush

But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, baby"

Leafpool sang in the sweetet voice she could,

"oops!...I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in this game,

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent"

then they sang the rest of the song together.

"You see my problem is this

I'm dreaming away

Wishing that heroes, they truly exist

I cry, watching the days

Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways

Leafpool sang delicately,"But to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Baby, oh

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"

They kissed passionately and smiled.

Tigerstar coughed.

Squirrelflight asked,"are you okay?"

Tiger star replied that he was fine.

Bramblclaw was an easy juge, "Well I think that you are pretty good! Welcome to Hollywood baby!"

Squirrelflight agreed.

Tigerstar growled, "You both sucked!"

Leafpool an Crowfeather seemed undisturbed by his reaction. "Thank you so much!" they meowed.

Graystripe looked into the camera,

"Remember all you cats out there wathing if you liked Leafpool and Crowfeather's performance please vote for them by calling 1800-REVIEW!"

Squirrelflight yawned,"Thank you and bye bye!" she declared.


	4. Idol part 2

"I'm sorry, but Firestar and Spottedleaf are still MIA so we are continuing the Warrior cats' idol!" Graysrtipe meowed.

Tigerstar replied, "Get on with the show you moron!"

Graystripe totally ignored Tigerstar, "As I was saying, Crowfeather and Leafpool received one vote so far through the official email address! This time, we will have Lionpaw and Birchfall singing, "I don't want to be a chicken, I don't want to be a duck!" In their own voices and version! sorry, one second, my phone is ringing! Hello? Silverstream!" he yowled.

"we need to talk! where were you last night, you pathetic furball" Silverstream demanded irritably.

"Lets talk later okay? Now, please welcome Lionpaw and Birchfall!" Graystripe mumbled back

"I don't want to be a chicken!" Birchfall yowled passionately.

"I don't want to be a duck!' Lionpaw replied, just as enthusiastically.

Then they both meowed in unison, "because then a cat would eat us! I just want to be the cat THAT I AM!!" and bowed.

Lionpaw bowed so low that he fell off the stage and fell onto Tigerstar's lap.

Bambleclaw was satisfied,"What's up man! Welcome to Hollywood man!"

Squirrelflight wasn't as satisfied,"Pretty good!" she meowed.

Tigerstar simply meowed,"zzzzzz…..hhmmm? What happened?"

Lionpaw and Birchfall bowed again and meowed,"Thank you! We love you all!" a they blew air kisses at the cameras.

All the she-cats watching fainted, so less votes for them came in.

Graystripe seemed utterly dumbfounded,"well that was shorter than expected! COMMERCIALS!"

Some cat on the TV yowled to use heart-to-heart shampoo. And the show ended.

"If you liked tonight's performance please call 1800-REVIEW to vote! Goodbye and goodnight!" Graystripe concluded.


	5. Idol part 3

" And for our next contestant we have Breezepaw and Nightcloud!" Graystripe yowled into the camera. Breezepaw danced onto the stage and grabbed the microphone from Graystripe.

" We will be singing the seven things I hate bout you by Hannah Montana! Dedicated to Crowfeather!" Breezepaw finished for him. At this, Nightcloud stalked purposefully onto the stage, and grabbed the other microphone.

"I probably shouldn't say this, but at times I get so scared.  
When I think about the previous relationship we shared.  
It was awesome, but we lost it.  
It's not possible for me not to care!" Breezepaw howled.

" And now we're standing in the rain.  
But nothing's ever going to change until you hear, my dear.  
The seven things I hate about you!  
The seven things I hate about you!  
Oh you!" Nightcloud sang, looking purely emotionless.

"You're vain!"  
"Your games!"  
"You're insecure!"  
"You love me, you like her!"  
"You make me laugh, you make me cry!"  
"I don't know which side to buy!"  
"Your friends, they're jerks!"  
"When you act like them you know it hurts!"  
"I want you to be the one I know!"  
"And the seventh thing I hate thing most that you do, is you make me love you!" They concluded together.

"Are you in the audience dad?" Breezepaw burst out in tear.

"Yes" came the short reply.

"Why do you hate me dad! I love you, but you are the one that hates me!" he ran off the stage, dropping the microphone, causing the whole theatre to resound with the feedback.

Graystripe grabbed the fallen, dented microphone and meowed calmly," Now, that was a performance! If you enjoyed it call 1800-REVIEW to vote."


	6. Idol part 4

**A/N: you can vote more than once if you like more than one song!**

"And next up, we have Silverstream and Millie singing, the Avril Lavigne's song 'Girlfriend', apparently dedicated to…me!?"  
Millie pranced on the stage, armed with a hot pink lipstick, and followed by Siverstream clutching a baby pink lip-gloss. They grabbed the microphones from either side of Graystripe while he shook his head, trying to decide whom to look at. Finally, after about a minute's worth of head-turning and silence, the she-cats glided over to the center of the stage for their performance.

They sang the whole song together from the beginning to the end, always hissing at eachother in their angelic voices.

"Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way

I think you need a new one

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me

No way, no way

No, it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you

I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine I want you mine you're so delicious

I think about you all the time you're so addictive

Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious

And hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She's like so whatever

You could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!"

In the end they glared at their shared lover,

"I should never have approved her, but now you have kits! What can I do?" Silverstream spat under her breath.

Graystripe smiled weakly and meowed," You can vote more than once, and the number is 1800-REVIEW!" and the show ended there and then, with a shot of Silverstream leaping at Graystripe while Millie grabbed their tails and pulled them apart.


	7. Idol part 5

Graystripe meowed unenthusiastically for once, and you could see the rips in his Louis-Vuitton suit.  
"hello an welcome back, of course, Firestar and Spottedleaf went on a honeymoon to Hawaii, so we will continue our warrior cats idol! Remember, you can vote more than once due to our lack of viewers! Today, we have Lionpaw and Heatherpaw singing accidentally in love from the the Shrek 2 soundtrack."  
Lionpaw walked onto the stage and grabbed the microphone from Graystripe, but this time he was ready,  
"The next cat to snatch my microphone will be disqualified from the competition!" he hissed, glaring at Lionpaw. At this point Heatherpaw decided to walk onto the stage in her beautiful new strapless Prada dress. The toms in the audience howled and drooled while heir mates stared at them in disgust and wondered if they should buy a new dress as well. Graystripe turned around to see what was going on to make the audience go wild and his eyes bulged out when he found what he was looking for. He tried to grab her and run off the stage but Lionpaw grabbed his tail and went to the bathroom, which he then locked Graystripe into.  
"Sorry for the interruption folks! We will now sing our song!"

"So she said what's the problem baby

What's the problem I don't know

Well maybe I'm in love

Think about it every time

I think about it

Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this

Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love

Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on

Turn a little faster

Come on, come on

The world will follow after

Come on, come on

Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running

Running down into the spring that's coming all this love

Melting under blue skies

Belting out sunlight

Shimmering love

Come on, Come on

Move a little closer

Come on, Come on

I want to hear you whisper

Come on, Come on

Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on

Jump a little higher

Come on, come on

If you feel a little lighter

Come on, come on

We were once

Upon a time in love

Love ...I'm in love"

they had done it! They had sung the whole song together, looking into each other's eyes and at the end they dropped their microphones together and Lionpaw picked Heatherpaw up dramatically and declared,

"you can't spell Heatherpaw without heat!" and so they marched off the stage as the audience clutched their ears in their paws trying to block out the feed-back.

Graystrip managed, miraculously to break out of the bathroom and meowed,

"that's the end of the show today! Call 1800-REVIEW to vote! And you can vote as many times as you like!"


	8. Idol part 6

Graystripe sidled onto the stage with one paw in his pocket and his tie loose. He shifted his weight his weight for leg to leg looking at the camera from time to time, checking if they were on the air, about a minute passed and then Squirrelflight meowed coolly," What are you waiting for the show to end?" Graystripe got the hint and immediately meowed in reply," Hello and welcome to the show!" Today we have Silverstream and Feathertail singing Moonlight shadow by Mike Oldfield!" He declared as his true love walked onto the stage with Feathertail following close behind. As they took their microphones from Graystripe, he planted a soft kiss on Silverstream's lips. She blushed, but then realized who it had been and smiled at him. Then she went to the center of the stage to sing the song he had chosen.

"The last that ever she saw him

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

He passed on worried and warning

Carried away by a moonlight shadow.

Lost in a river last Saturday night

Far away on the other side.

He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight

And she couldn't find how to push through

The trees that whisper in the evening

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

Sing a song of sorrow and grieving

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

All she saw was a silhouette of a gun

Far away on the other side.

He was shot six times by a man on the run

And she couldn't find how to push through

I stay

I pray

I see you in StarClan far away

I stay

I pray

I see you in StarClan far away

Four am in the morning

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

I watched your vision forming

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

Star was light in a silvery night

Far away on the other side

Will you come to talk to me this night

But she couldn't find how to push through

I stay

I pray

I see you in StarClan far away

I stay

I pray

I see you in StarClan far away

Far away on the other side.

Caught in the middle of a hundred and five

The night was heavy but the air was alive

But she couldn't find how to push through

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

Carried away by a moonlight shadow

Far away on the other side." They finished their song and bowed delicately. Then walked off the stage without another word.

"Graystripe hopped onto the stage and concluded the show," It's been a great night! Call 1800-REVIEW if you would like to vote for hose lovely she-cats!" he said in a biased tone. So the show ended.


	9. Idol Part 7

"Hello and welcome, to our show!" Graystripe grinned on the stage, quiet music plying somewhere behind him. "We bring great news today!" The gray warrior continued, walking round on the black, modern stage. The judges pricked their ears in confusion. At this point a spotlight blared over to the back of the stage, where Firestar and Spottdleaf now stood. Everyone gasped. Tigerstar grumbled openly and slid into a corner, clawing at a ginger doll. "Today we have the privilege of hearing our very own Spottedleaf and Snadstorm singing the song ' Girlfriend' by Avril Lavinge!" Sandstorm glided onto the stage, eyes gazing lovingly into Firestar's, but also burned with jealousy as she stood watching in akward silence as he held Spottedleaf and kissed her lips with a sweet smile she had never seen gazing into her own eyes.

"Let's get this thing on the thunderpath." Sandstorm exclaimed finally to break up the happy couple.

"Hey, Hey! You, You!

I don't like your girlfriend!" Spottedleaf sang in a honey-sweet voice, glaring at Sandstorm.

"No Way! No way!

I think you need a new one!" Sandstorm retorted in anger.

"Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I want to be your girlfriend.

You're so fine,  
I want you mine.  
You're so delicious,  
I think about ya all the time,  
You're so addictive.  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious,  
And hell yeah,  
I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right.

She's like so whatever,  
And you could do so much better.  
I think we should get together now,  
And that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I want to be your girlfriend.

I can see the way,  
I see the way you look at me.  
And even when you look away I know you think of me.  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again,  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear.  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear,  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again.

She's like so whatever,  
And you could do so much better.  
I think we should get together now,  
And that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I want to be your girlfriend.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger,  
Cause I can,  
Cause I can do it better.  
There's no other,  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid,  
What the hell were you thinking?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger,  
Cause I can,  
Cause I can do it better.  
There's no other,  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid,  
What the hell were you thinking?!

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey.  
You, you.  
I want to be your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

No way! Hey hey!"

They had sung the whole song together and were now glaring at eachother, flanks heaving from exhaustion.

" He's mine!" Spottedleaf declared, running off with the ThunderClan leader, and sticking her tongue out at the young warrior. Sandstorm burst into tears and scraped her claws deep into the stage floor.

"That was awesome!" Tigerstar exclaimed.

"It was good..." The other two judges replied, looking bewildered.

"Does this mean we lost Firestar and Spottedleaf AGAIN!?" a member of the audience yelled at the stage.

**tO be Continued... **

**A/N- please review or PM me if you have suggestions!**


End file.
